Child Discipline Vs. Abuse: How are they Different?

Across many cultures, countries and communities of the world, disciplining a child often employs harsh measures such as corporal punishment and psychological or verbal abuse. If you are confused about whether your disciplinary measures towards your child border on abusive behavior, you might find this article useful in judging your actions.
If we think of child abuse as a perception depending on cultural or religious influences, perhaps we might find a way to justify the cruelest punishments meted out to children. Spanking or bruising a child are considered severe forms of abuse in most western cultures, however, it is perfectly normal parental behavior in most Asian countries. With the advent of globalization and large number of people leaving their countries and cultures for foreign shores, immigrant families often find themselves at the crossroads with the culture shock of being unable to "properly" discipline children. So where should parents draw the line between employing disciplinary techniques and indulging in child abuse. Let us attempt to explore some dynamics of child care and see how not to abuse your child misunderstanding it as discipline. Later, we will look at how to differentiate between discipline and punishment.

Child Discipline Vs. Child Abuse

Irrespective of our cultural roots, we must begin to grasp the reality that's playing out in the innumerable crime corridors of the world; violence begets violence. Each time you raise your hand or raise your voice to reprimand your child, no matter how noble your intentions, no matter how deep your love for your child, the little mind understands that at some point it will become his/her right too. While the child may display "compliance" temporarily, somewhere in his/her mind you have sown the seeds of violent behavior. Now all the child needs to do as he/she grows up, is to find a justification for the act. It could be a religious justification, a cultural interpretation or as in the case of sociopaths and psychopaths (majority of whom have experienced some form of child abuse), perhaps no justification and no remorse. Most children indulging in violent behavior have been under the care (or lack thereof) of people with poor parenting skills or victims of drug abuse and/or alcohol abuse. It is more than likely that they will end up either as bullies, out to get even with their parents using others (mostly their own spouse and children, co-workers, etc.), or as individuals with an extremely low self-esteem and perhaps even as social misfits. Any form of discipline that infringes the basic rights of a child, whether physical or psychological denotes child abuse.

Most disciplinary techniques or punishments are focused on instilling a sense of right and wrong in a child. Obviously, you cannot hope to curb unacceptable behavior by meting out a harsh punishment that is more likely to seem unreasonable and unacceptable to the child. Another aspect to parental punishments is the justification to oneself that, "my strict parents often used these punishments on me and that is why I turned out fine, therefore, this has to be the correct punishment". The authoritarian style of parenting is thus passed down through several generations across cultures. Not that there is a total lack of mutual love and respect between authoritarian parents and their children, but there's a strong possibility of the bond between parents and children falling apart in due course. Children who may have conceded in response to punishment temporarily, and appeared to have been "set right" by parents demanding obedience, find that adolescence and early adulthood bring back those memories triggering rebellious behavior or feelings of strong resentment against the "perpetrators".

The easiest thing to do is to single out cultures and religions where the cane is still used as the preferred tool of discipline and declare them abusive or hostile. However, the fact that the intention of such actions is not to perpetrate abuse, is reason enough not to sit in judgment. While leaving the choice of whether to follow methods prescribed by religious and cultural doctrines to you, let us understand some positive and constructive ways to instill discipline in children. Remember that every unhealthy or disruptive behavior is not necessarily traceable to bad parenting.

Traits of Child Discipline without Child Abuse

• Establish and Explain the Rules: Let your child know what your expectations are and explain why the rules exist. Don't simply impose with a "because-I-say-so" attitude. Explain what the consequences of following the rules will be. For example, let the child know that if he/she throws his/her little gadgets and toys around they are bound to get wrecked. Make the child understand in a matter-of-fact way that he/she won't be able to play with it anymore because it has been ruined. Convey to the child clearly that it's a consequence of his/her own actions. This way, you can spare the child your "lecture" (again mostly an ineffective disciplinary technique) and he/she gradually understands that the only way to keep toys and gadgets safe is by being careful with them. Remind the rules from time to time until the child learns them. Remember that you can explain the rules in an assertive manner with a dash of affection too. You don't have to sound stern and authoritative.
• Appreciate Good Behavior: What does it feel like when you are at home day after day, doing a fairly good job and your family hardly notices? It's only when something goes wrong that you're getting people's attention. Even in the workplace, meeting expectations is no big deal but make one small mistake and it will be remembered for quite some time. We manage to deal with being taken for granted in the adult world. But it is not so with a child. An important part of discipline is rewarding your child for following the rules. It might seem redundant to you, but for the child who is going way out of its comfort zone, appreciation means a lot. In addition, it is the easiest way to positively reinforce good behavior. The child relates good behavior with reward and recognition. You need to be careful that the reward is equal to good behavior. For example, taking the child out for a small treat if he/she puts the toys back in place continuously for a week is alright, but showering more and more expensive toys will only turn the child into a spoiled brat. Strike a balance between rewarding and fulfilling your child's every wish.
• Time-outs: If your child is emotionally attached to you and dreads being away from you for a long time, time-outs can be an effective technique for discipline. In this technique, you essentially make the child take a break from you as a disciplinarian and the situation that initiated bad behavior. Remove the child from the situation and place him/her alone in a quiet, even a boring place without toys or television. The time-out period should not last for more than five minutes, just enough to deprive the child of your presence but not so much that he/she feels abandoned or neglected. The aim is to indicate displeasure at the child's behavior, not the child.
• Grounding: This technique of discipline involves restricting your child's movement and activities as punishment for breaking more serious rules like not getting back home within a reasonable time at night, etc. Let the child know that he/she cannot leave his/her room or visit friends or go to that Saturday night event as certain rules have been violated. Again the time period for grounding must be just enough for realization and not endless remorse.
• Taking Away Privileges: Anything that is valued by a child such as watching a specific television show or playing with a particular friend or staying over at a friend's place, etc., can be deemed privileges. The child must be explained that these privileges come with responsibilities. If the responsibility is unfulfilled, the privilege must be withheld until appropriate behavior has been established again. Again, this technique must not be used very frequently and everything must not become a privilege. For example, do not let lunch or supper be a privilege and do not deny food when the child is hungry because he/she indulged in inappropriate behavior. That would clearly be abuse.

Techniques of Discipline According to Age of the Child
Newborn to 18 months	Appreciating good behavior, show-and-tell acceptable behavior
18 months to 3 years	Appreciating good behavior, time-outs
4 to 12 years	Appreciating good behavior, time-outs, grounding, withholding privileges
13 to 18 years	Appreciating good behavior, grounding, withholding privileges

Common Forms of Discipline Associated With Child Abuse

• Spanking/Corporal Punishment: For typical cases of undisciplined child behavior, physical discipline techniques must never be used. It results in negative consequences and the child feels it is alright to physically punish someone who they love for something wrong they may have done. If the child's behavior is extremely inappropriate, seek the help of a mental health professional. Parents are largely not capable of associating bad behavior with a psychological disability. Imagine you have been spanking your child for a while for not paying attention when ultimately he/she is diagnosed with attention deficit disorder (ADT) or your child goes hysterical in public, has difficulty fitting in socially and you spank the life out of him/her only to discover that you have an autistic child. Due to lack of proper education, many parents do not consider ADT, autism and other learning disabilities and psychological disorders as disabilities. They're often convinced that the child is being very unreasonable and deserves physical punishment. Spanking and corporal punishment have strong undertones of parental ego and frustration, not necessarily with regard to the child. The child often ends up being the victim of a parent's temper, but of course, it's a widely practiced form of punishment which serves as justification for the parent's actions. For the sake of the child and in the interest of moving towards a less violent society, spanking and corporal punishment are not recommended.
• Verbal Abuse: Yelling and screaming at a child has never worked as a disciplinary technique. In fact, frequent verbal abuse may make you come across as repulsive to the child. The child will gradually stop confiding in you for fear of being yelled at. The child will become vulnerable while seeking out affection outside the home environment. Most victims of child sexual abuse and molestation find it difficult to tell their parents for fear of shame, distrust and reprimand. No form of discipline, no matter how justified is worth making your child afraid to ask you for help!
• Ignoring Bad Behavior: If your child is displaying unusually disruptive behavior or trying desperately to seek your attention, do not ignore the child hoping that he/she will overcome this "phase". You might want to check out some tell-tale symptoms of child abuse to rule out that your child is in physical or emotional distress due to abuse by someone else (even your spouse). In case your child has been bullied at school or violated by another person, take immediate action and let the child know he/she can trust you to end the agony. In case of sexual abuse, young children cannot even articulate what exactly happened. In case of the abuser being from the family or a person of authority, the child is often scared and confused about their actions. The last thing you want to do is ignore your child when his/her dignity is at stake, the consequences of which will last for the lifetime of the child.

Common Mistakes with Enforcing Child Discipline

• Bribery: Positive reinforcement is different from bribery and it is not permissive parenting. Your rewarding techniques must not encourage the child to hold good behavior as hostage for a ransom!
• Parental Disagreement on Rules: It is very common for one of the parents to be soft on the child while the other assumes the authoritarian role. This is not a healthy way of parenting. The child grows up to harbor dislike for the strict parent and tends to cling to the softer parent. In addition, there are often open conflicts between parents about rules of discipline where one parent thinks the other is being too harsh and so on. It is vital to pose as one parental unit in front of the child or else the child can easily learn that "divide and conquer" is a great strategy to get away with unreasonable behavior.

Discipline: Foundation for a Lifetime

Instilling the right values in your child is not a one-day training event. It is in the small interactions of daily life that the seeds of right and wrong are sown. Disciplining your child is nothing but teaching your child about self-discipline in the long term. You have succeeded in the true sense in being a good parent only when your child displays good behavior, follows rules and regulations and fulfills his/her responsibilities even when you're not watching! Every impulsive reaction from you to discipline your child (yelling, spanking, etc.) will encourage the child to be "on guard" when you're around. Your short-term solution will result in long-term problems for your child.

Be a role model for your child as he/she grows up to be a responsible, respectful, well-adjusted and loving adult. Remember to give love and warmth in bulk and punishment in small doses. The child will grow up to remember what he grew up with most! With this, I am concluding with a thought by Francois Muriac, which should be considered each time the temperamental adult in you tries to dominate the good parent.

"Where does discipline end? Where does cruelty begin? Somewhere between these, thousands of children inhabit a voiceless hell."
By Preeti Sunil

From:
http://www.buzzle.com/articles/child-discipline-vs-abuse-how-are-they-different.html

Suffering from headaches, sore tired eyes or blurry vision? Struggling to read this article? Then maybe it’s time for a checkup of the visual kind.

For a large portion of the working population electronic devices have become a necessity of everyday life. Whether it’s the computer, an e-reader, or a smartphone, simple every day functions have all become reliant in some way, shape, or form on electronic devices. Unfortunately all this visual stimulation as integral as it is to our lives is also very demanding on our visual system and if we don’t take any measures to protect our eye sight now can lead to worse problems further down the track.

Surprisingly most people know or atleast suspect they require vision correction yet do nothing about it. They continue to go about their daily duties performing everyday tasks such as reading, writing and driving with impaired vision fraught with symptoms such as headaches, blurred or double vision, colour confusion and sore or tired eyes.

This has become an ever increasing problem in the digital age where eye health has become so crucial to a functioning healthy lifestyle. Maintaining the quality of your eye health is not only important to your eyesight but can go a long way in assisting and detecting eye diseases such as macular degeneration, glaucoma, cataract and diabetic retinopathy, all of which can cause serious vision problems, or even vision loss, if left untreated over a long period of time.

Already wearing glasses? This doesn’t mean you are immune to the above. Even those who currently wear glasses or contact lenses, are recommended to take regular eye tests every two years as vision problems can change over time.

During an eye test an optometrist will test your vision through a range of methods including the measurement of vision on a letter chart. If something unusual is detected during a routine eye exam, additional testing may be conducted, including, temporarily dilating the pupil using an eye drop and carefully examining the back of the eye.

Despite what many people think, routine eye exams are not an overly costly or time consuming exercise. Companies such as OPSM currently use the latest technology to detect a range of eye diseases including macular degeneration, glaucoma and cataracts all at once. Eye tests also serve a double function in that they can also detect other serious health problems such as hypertension, blood disorders, brain tumours, multiple sclerosis and other neurological disorders.

Don’t have time for a quick eye exam? Listed below are some great strategies which can also be incorporated into your daily routine to help prevent against eye strain and maintain happy healthy eyes:

Set your work station up correctly: If you stare at any sort of digital screen for several hours at time your eye muscles can become so over worked they can't relax so make sure your work station is set up correctly from the outset. As a basic principle your computers monitor height should always be adjusted so that the top of screen is below eye level and the bottom of screen can be read without leaning forward. This will reduce eye strain as well as muscle tension around the neck and shoulders.

Reduce your screens glare: Invest in an anti-glare protective cover for your computer screen and definitely invest in an anti-reflective coating if you wear glasses. Make sure to also adjust your monitors the brightness levels so that there is contrast (e.g. dark characters on a light background).

Apply the 20-20-20 rule: Make an effort to look away from your screen every 20 minutes for 20 seconds and focus on a fixed point 20 meters away. If you find yourself forgetting to do this, set yourself an alarm to remind you every twenty minutes to get into the habit. Just like any physical exercise, eye movement works at its best when practiced at regular intervals.

Don’t forget to blink: To combat dry eyes which can occur as a result of sitting in front of an electronic screen for several hours a day (particularly in air-conditioned office environments), remember to take a moment to blink often and slowly - as though you are about to fall asleep. Blinking is a natural reflect which helps the eyes get rid of dirt and dust and assists in keeping the eyeballs lubricated.

Take regular breaks from your computer screen: Every hour stand up and stretch. Take an opportunity to take a short walk around the office and give your eyes a proper break from the computer screen. Not only is this great for your overall health it also helps to give your eyes a break from the monitor.

Read More:
http://au.lifestyle.yahoo.com/womens-health/health/eye-hub/article/-/10199307/how-to-preserve-your-eye-sight-in-the-digital-world/

Effective Time-Saving Tips for Working Parents

One thing that's always welcome by working parents is a few effective time-saving tips; how they can minimize the time taken to tie all ends, without leaving a few dangling here and there. For all of you who thought it's not possible, here's an article that will tell you the contrary.
If there was enough TIME in the world, everyone would be a superstar in his own right. Sure, some of you might already be those rare superhuman parents, easily juggling work and home. But there are a LOT of parents who have a hard time balancing the ever-increasing demands of work and home, and the seemingly decreasing number of hours per day. The to-do lists are becoming endless and the time in which these must be completed is suddenly, surprisingly short. Time management is the essence of a well-run household, and that's what this Buzzle article will tell you about. By following simple time-saving tips for full-time working parents, you can not only manage to get all the work done in time, but also have some time to spare.

Don't Hyperventilate
Just the thought of having to get so much work done after a long day at work can seem like a monumental task to a lot of parents. While one cannot completely disqualify the amount of housework that could crop up, it is also true that it is not as difficult as one may think. So, the main thing you need to do is calm yourself down. Once you leave the office building, sit in your car for a few minutes and clear your mind. Once your mind is clear, slowly begin to think about all the things that need to be done. Keep a daily planner which will help you schedule everything properly. Once you see that you have everything under your control, you can relax and get to them one by one.

Don't Bring Work Home
One of the most common, and sometimes unavoidable, mistakes that working parents make is they carry their work home. This causes frustration, not only to the parents themselves, but also to the children. The parent/s already have work on their mind when they enter home, and the prospect of having to carry out household chores in addition to it will only make them more anxious. The stress of it all will get to them and as a result, the focus is divided and nothing gets done properly. Arguments with kids ensue for work not done, they get more agitated and snap or disobey, thus ruining an entire evening. What you, as working parents, can do is make sure that if the need arises, only one of you should let work consume your time at home. Better yet, if you know your work is going to keep you busy at home, stay back at work, finish it off and then get home. You'll be able to focus better at office and you'll get it done quicker. Meanwhile, your spouse can take care of the work at home by getting home a bit early if possible. Don't make it a habit though.

Plan the Meals
The most worrisome aspect of household duties is the meals. Making sure that everyone eats right, and on time is no doubt a challenging task. Plus, as a parent, you need to know who likes what, who's allergic to what, and have suitable meals prepared. To make this easier, on Sunday evenings, the entire family can sit together and decide the meals for the entire week. Have a meal planner, keep an hour for planning, and plan the 3 meals for the next 7 days. After you're done, paste it on the refrigerator and get to the necessary shopping for the entire week.

Quick Tips

* Keep the coffee maker ready the previous night to avoid that early morning rush.
* If the next day's meal involves a little extra prep time, cut and clean the main ingredients like the vegetables or meat the previous night and refrigerate them.
* Keep breakfast simple; something that your children can prepare for themselves. You can alternate easy-to-make items like cereal, pancakes and toast throughout the week.
* Make food items in bulk and freeze them if you wish.
* Try out different recipes to make from leftovers.

First Work, Then Play
Your children will get back home from school before you. You need to make them understand that they need to finish all their homework, and only then play. While doing this, make sure that you assign reasonable deadlines to them like when they must finish their homework, according to their age and the amount of homework they could have. Once they begin to follow this routine, things will function smoothly and your children will get their work done before you get home.

* Ask your children to keep everything ready for school the previous night.
* Clothes must be picked out, ironed and ready on the hanger.
* Tell your children that they'll be woken only twice, after which they'll have to manage to get to school on their own if they're not at the table for breakfast 15 minutes before leaving time. Do it once and they'll know that you're serious.

Divide the Chores
You don't need to be a supermom or superdad by doing everything yourselves. Children can and should help out with household chores. This will reduce the burden on the two of you; plus they become more responsible. Chores that your children can manage must be divided among them according to their age. You can have a chore chart pasted in their rooms or in the kitchen, from which they can tick off the chore once it is complete. Don't permit procrastination of any chore unless there's no other option. Division of outside chores like grocery shopping, picking up laundry, etc., among the two of you is another great way to save time. These chores could be divided according to the proximity from the workplace and the time at which you get home. For instance, if the laundry is on your husband/wife's way home, and it's open till he/she leaves from work, he/she can pick it up while you get to the supermarket.

Quick Tips

* Make sure that your children complete the chore on the day they're supposed to. Use negative reinforcement techniques to focus on the discipline aspect of the chores.
* Punish when necessary and they'll get the point.
* It takes everyone to work as one to make a family function. Don't feel guilty about being hard on your children about chores and end up doing it yourselves. They have to learn someday, so why not today?

Have Reserves
Running a family along with a career involves a whole new level of multitasking. It is a job that requires your attention 24/7, and can go really wrong if not managed properly. Throw in a few unprecedented events now and then, and you have a wonderfully chaotic atmosphere. To avoid wastage of time, even in the face of unprecedented events, there are some simple things you can do.

* Keep a couple extra of everything in the kitchen, in case of situations like broken eggs, a moldy bread loaf, spilled juice, etc. So you just have to take out the extra and eat it rather than wasting time thinking about what to make or stopping for breakfast.
* Always keep first aid at hand, in case of minor cuts, bruises and injuries, so you don't have to waste time looking for it.
* Have emergency numbers pasted in a perfectly legible hand on the refrigerator. These should include: your cell and work numbers, the national emergency number, your family doctor, closest relative, neighbor, babysitter, utilities person, etc.
* Prepare a detailed timetable for all the work that needs to be done, keeping a buffer for extra contingencies.
* Encourage car pooling, play dates, study groups and other such interactive and constructive activities. Not only are these beneficial for your children in more ways than one, they will get them out of your hair and give you some time to either catch up on some pending work or just some alone time.

Keep Aside Family Time
Having everything under perfect control is not always possible. However, that does not mean you need to be occupied in your household chores all the time. So, one of the best tips for full-time working parents, is to make some time for yourself and your family. A meal, a movie, a game, anything that will make the family sit together and spend some quality time. This will instill a sense of calm and create a friendly atmosphere which is very important if you want your home to be hassle-free. When you get along with your family, the work gets done miraculously fast. Everyone understands each other's requirements and commitments, and works together to ensure the smooth flow of household chores and other work.

The key to effectively manage time is to prioritize all the work that you have. Once you attach a level of importance to each task, you know how much time you need to give it. This way you can easily and systematically plan everything out and see how quickly and effortlessly everything falls into place. All these will undoubtedly take some time to work like clockwork, but it definitely will.

Read More:
http://www.buzzle.com/articles/effective-time-saving-tips-for-working-parents.html

Are Contact Lenses Safe for Children?

Contact lenses are safe for all age groups, and children too can effortlessly use them once they learn and master all the necessary precautions and guidelines of use. Go through the FAQs presented in this article to clear all your doubts on contact lenses and their use in children.

Out of the total percentage of contact lens users in the United States, about 10% are children. Also, it's a fact that children are more prone to develop eye conditions like an infection, conjunctivitis, abrasions, pain in the eye, and ulcers, due to improper use of eye lenses. The official journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics has reported that contact lenses account for 40% of all medical device related injuries. Thus more than the age, it is the maturity of the kid that counts in deciding on the use of contact lenses in children. Though a doctor is the best person who can decide on the best lenses, the following segments will help you in taking the best and safest decision.

Are contact lenses safe for children?
Yes, contact lenses are absolutely safe for children, if you make them follow all the safety guidelines and teach them to use the lenses with care.

At what age should children start using contact lenses?
There is no ideal age of using contact lenses, rather, the decision is based on the child's ability to take care of the lenses. Normally, doctors prescribe lenses to kids after they are above eleven years of age. But in a study conducted at the Ohio State University, it was found that even kids between 8-12 years of age can use lenses effectively. Thus age is a factor that has little significance.

Out of so many varieties which lenses are best for kids?
There are many types of contact lenses; the two broad categories are soft lenses and rigid gas permeable contact lenses. Soft lenses have obvious advantages over other types, and thus are more popular. Under soft lenses there are two more variations, based on the period of use - daily disposable lenses and extended period use lenses. The only disadvantage of soft lenses is that they need extra effort while cleaning, as impurities from the soap or environment can easily stick to them. Another new variety of soft lenses is silicon extended lenses. These lenses can be worn for thirty straight days and nights, if the person takes proper care. After taking all these factors into consideration, we can conclude, daily disposable soft lenses are best for children. A study had found that, children had no trouble in applying and removing one day disposable contact lenses, and managed to do it without any assistance from parents. Daily disposable lenses also spare you from the routine cleaning process of contact lenses.

Do contact lenses boost self-esteem in children?
If this question was asked a decade ago, then the answer would have been a 'yes'. But this does not hold true now considering the wide and trendy varieties of glasses available today. Kids with spectacles no longer feel uncomfortable or like the 'odd one out' when they are with their peers. Children who are more into sports should prefer contact lenses over glasses to avoid any trouble during play. Thus the notion that contact lenses boost self-esteem in children is baseless in today's world.

What is my role as a parent?
There is no reason to worry once your child gets used to wearing lenses. Parents need to keep in mind the following important points if their kids use contact lenses.

1. Every person takes his/her own time to adjust to the lenses, it actually depends on the sensitivity of the lenses to the person's eyes.
2. Parents are the best people to decide whether their kid is responsible enough to take care of lenses. Prolong giving contact lenses to your kid if you think he/she is not matured enough to take care of them.
3. Ensure that your child is following all the necessary steps and is taking proper care of his/her lenses. If your child has been given the monthly disposable lenses to use, enlighten him/her about the importance of cleaning and disinfecting the lenses.
4. Ensure that your child always has with him/her a pair of glasses, that would come in handy if there is any mishap.
5. Take your child for a regular monthly eye checkup. This will protect him/her from any eye infections and diseases.
6. Ensure that your kid follows all the basic rules concerning cleaning and disinfection of lenses. If there is persistent redness and irritation in your kid's eyes, take your doctor's opinion. Dryness is also a common symptom of using lenses, that can be countered by lubricating the eyes with eye drops before going to bed every night.

On a concluding note, contact lenses are totally safe for your kid, if he/she is responsible enough to use them. Contact lenses are as safe and effective as eye-glasses as a corrective measure for myopia or short-sightedness. Many rules have to be followed while using lenses, but once you master them, there is no trouble.

Read More:

http://www.buzzle.com/articles/are-contact-lenses-safe-for-children.html

Creating a Reader-Friendly Home

For people who read for pleasure, the place that they read in does not really matter. But what about kids who cringe even at the thought of picking up a book? How do you get them to discover and enjoy the joys of reading? By creating a reader-friendly home that is simply irresistible. Find out how you can do just that in this article.

Somewhere in the rush to keep up, all of us have forgotten about reading. I see a lot of you disagreeing with me because I know a lot of avid readers too. But there is this other lot that has long-forgotten and probably even misses the joy of reading, so the idea of passing it on to their little ones may be out of the question. While our lot may be able to revive this habit at some point in the future, it is important that it at least be inculcated in children. The benefits of reading have been experienced by us adults at some point in time or the other. So that these benefits are availed by the younger generation too, here's how we can encourage kids to read, by creating a reader-friendly home.

Creating a Desirable Reading Environment at Home

Before we discuss the importance of creating a good physical environment to read, you ought to understand that forcing this habit on kids is going to yield nothing. In fact, it may lead them to despise reading. No one likes to be forced to do something, even if they secretly enjoy it. So coax them into it, don't nag them to do it. And here's how you can go about it.

The Reading Room/Area
Don't you love a little area where you can snuggle up with a cup of hot cocoa and your favorite book? Don't you want to create that same little haven for your child? Some kids are resistant to reading, so you have to lure them with other elements that will get them to pick up that book. Here's what you can do:

* If not a whole room, you can definitely designate a small area that becomes a reading zone in your house.
* This reading area should be well-lit, naturally and artificially.
* Add color to the area so that it becomes appealing. The color should not be jarring, but bright enough to attract someone into the zone. If you are doing this specially for kids, keep the colors bright, but don't overpower with color. Let books, posters, rugs, and lamps add to the color, rather than painting a wall in a loud color or having a bright-colored bookshelf.
* Maintain comfortable seating; a desk, a chair, a bean bag, a rug with floor cushions, or a recliner - anything that will make your child comfortable enough to read without badly affecting her/his posture is a good choice.
* Keep seating for at least two people. The joy of reading together is greater than that of reading alone.
* Classify books by genre and your child's interest. For instance, keep comics separate from graphic novels, which should be separate from other novels. Keep mysteries, light reading and non-fiction separate too.
* Keep books within the reach of your kids so that they don't always need you to pick out a book they want to read.
* So that kids can find their favorite books on their own, keep the books in a manner that allows them to spot the spine of the book on the shelf labeled with the genre.
* Keep this zone free of other distractions such as a TV, a phone or a computer. At the most, keep a CD player to enjoy audio books.
* As a safety measure, ensure that the furniture kept in these areas does not have any sharp edges that may be dangerous for the little ones.

The Alternative to Good Ol' Books
Not all kids like to pick up books and read them. Don't worry, there are lots of alternatives to those; audio books being the best. Bringing characters to life with their voices and the right tone tells a lot more than reading a book, elements which some readers may not be able to gauge. Join your kid in listening to them, and it is definitely going to be more fun. The Internet is a great medium too. Now you definitely have to monitor what they read online, but there are loads of kiddie newspapers, magazines, blogs, and websites where children publish short stories. Giving exposure to kids on such sites is great. Add to these, websites with trivia specially for kids, and you have a whole treasure of information that is just a click away. Nowadays, a lot of kids have tablet PCs, such as an iPad, which only makes it much easier to access any kind of reading material. As long as kids get into the habit of reading, the medium should not matter.

Making Time for Reading
This may be an obvious suggestion, but it is the most effective one. Studying, TV and video games, all take up the time that kids have; and kids are supposed to have the maximum amount of time on their hands. Even if it is only half an hour, make them read in that time. For it to be more effective, read with them, even if the two of you are sitting and reading your own books. Don't pressurize them to read, but if they see you do it often, the likelihood of them engaging in any kind of reading is greater. Entertainment from TV and video games may be important to reduce the pressure of studying, but reading offers a different kind of entertainment. It is definitely more soothing and relaxing, and even enhances brain activity.

The Reader's Bill of Rights
Here's something interesting/hilarious I found while looking up tips to make your home a reader-friendly place, which I think perfectly suits the concept of trying to get kids to read and making your home reader-friendly. It's called the Reader's Bill of Rights as propounded by Daniel Pennac in his book Better Than Life; and this is what it says (with my two-bit):

Every reader has:

1. The right to not read: If your kids don't want to read in spite of all your efforts, don't force them to. I myself started reading only at 15 and have been an avid reader since.
2. The right to skip pages: Lots of books have a lot of yada yada in them that can be safely skipped. Give them this option before they begin to find a book boring and give it up.
3. The right to not finish: Accept that kids are not going to enjoy every book they read. If it is beyond comprehension or way too difficult/boring for them, ask them to give it up. This will also help them discover what kind of books they really like.
4. The right to reread: Ask me how many times I have read the Harry Potter series! Rereading brings to light a lot of things that the first read doesn't. Encourage it. There is a lot of time to catch up on other books.
5. The right to read anything: With kids, it may be a little difficult to allow them to read 'anything', but giving them diverse options is definitely a choice. Some books are written for the sake of pure entertainment without a point; and these books should be enjoyed. You don't have to learn something from everything! (Believe me you still will.)
6. The right to escapism: A fantasy world allows kids to create their own parallel universe. It opens up their mind and allows them to think creatively. In fact, you could be a part of this universe and help them expand it.
7. The right to read anywhere: This is in keeping with what has been discussed above. Though the focus is on creating a reader-friendly home, a child can easily enjoy a book in any environment as long as it is not very distracting.
8. The right to browse: Sometimes it's okay to pick up a book and start reading it from a particular section, even if it doesn't make sense.
9. The right to read out loud: This is so necessary for kids; reading out loud is great for them, and is an enjoyable activity if you as a parent read out to them while taking the right tone, pitch and voice of the character. Also, some kids learn better when they listen rather than read.
10. The right to not defend your tastes: You are going to be monitoring what they read, so there is nothing to worry about on that front. But if your child enjoys graphic novels more than regular novels, there is no harm in that. You don't have to reprimand her/him for it or try to convince him to read another genre. The transition will occur slowly; and even if it doesn't, at least she/he is reading something!

These are some guidelines you can go by when trying to encourage your kids to read. In fact, it is a great book that parents can read to get their kids to read.

As mentioned earlier, don't worry if your kids are not interested in reading yet. Sometimes, they get into the habit later in life. This does not mean that they should not be encouraged. But sometimes, certain kids don't take a genuine interest in reading. If after all that you have done to create a reader-friendly environment in your home, your kids don't want to read, just give them some time. Temptation can be resisted only for so long. They are sure to come around eventually and pick up that book you have been wanting them to read for the longest time.

By Puja Lalwani

Read More:
http://www.buzzle.com/articles/creating-a-reader-friendly-home.html

Farm Animal Protection in Jeopardy at the Supreme Court

Today, eight of the nine Supreme Court justices spoke up or peppered lawyers with questions about the precedent-setting animal welfare case before the Court today—the second animal cruelty case to come before it in as many terms. The case, National Meat Association (NMA) v. Harris, centers on a challenge by a slaughterhouse trade association to the provisions of California’s anti-cruelty law relating to the abuse of downer livestock. State lawmakers enacted the measure in the wake of an HSUS undercover investigation documenting terrible cruelty at a cull-cow slaughter plant in Chino, where downer cows were rammed with forklifts and dragged by chains into the slaughter area. The HSUS and four other animal welfare groups intervened in the case in support of the law and the state of California, which is the named defendant in this proceeding.
The NMA argues that California’s law is preempted by the Federal Meat Inspection Act (FMIA) and is therefore invalid. In this case, as well as in the daily enterprise of turning pigs into meat, the NMA is aligned with the National Pork Producers Council, which has tried to proffer the notion to members of Congress that downer pigs are just “fatigued” and that they will get up if you give them enough time to recover from the trauma of long-distance transport and mistreatment and their underlying genetic unsoundness.

The agribusiness industry got yet another valentine today from the Obama administration, which also argued that the California law should be struck down. This is the same Obama administration, through its USDA, that provides hundreds of millions in subsidies to the hog industry and that has engaged in endless lobbying and shuttle diplomacy to open up trade agreements with South Korea and Columbia in order to boost U.S. pork exports. In this case, the Obama administration not only demonstrated it has no problem with the fact that tens of thousands of pigs show up at slaughterhouses so battered and beleaguered that they cannot walk, but also that the states do not have the authority to prohibit the slaughter of horses for human consumption, because the FMIA preempts any state from taking such an action at federally inspected slaughter plants.

Again, the meat industry—which includes the slaughter plants, the stockyards and auction houses, and commodity groups like the National Cattlemen’s Beef Association and the National Pork Producers Council—fights animal welfare regulations at every turn. In the quarter-century of my involvement with animal protection, I am not aware of any of these groups ever supporting any animal welfare measure. Now, the very groups that fight every animal welfare advance at the federal level say only the federal government can regulate the care of animals at slaughter plants. It’s a pretty convenient argument when you think about it: tell the Congress that no more rules are needed because the industry can self-police, tell the courts that the only the federal government can regulate conduct here, and tell the states to mind their own business. The animals are left with almost nothing in the way of protections.

If the Supreme Court strikes down this law, then we may not only see California’s anti-cruelty law gutted, but we may also see anti-horse slaughter laws in California, Illinois, and Texas shot down, too.

I have been a close observer and a participant in just about all of the major battles in Congress over animal welfare for the last two decades. If we have to wait for strong farm animal welfare rules, or even food safety rules, from the Congress and the USDA, we’ll be waiting for an awfully long time. Both the Congress and the USDA are in the grip of agribusiness. As such, the states have a vital role to play in protecting animals from cruelty; frankly, it’s their last resort.

It’s important to remember that this is the same cast of characters that allowed the abuses of downer cows at Hallmark to occur. California lawmakers would have seen no reason to upgrade their anti-cruelty laws but for the abuses they saw on their television screens–abuses conducted by the meat industry and overseen by our own USDA at a federally inspected slaughter plant. Before our footage came to light, all of these parties told us that the animals were fine and that the industry and the government were doing a superb job. Our video put the lie to all of their false claims and preening overconfidence.

What transpired in the U.S. Supreme Court today, in terms of the fatuous argument of the meat industry and the obeisance of the Obama administration, was a little like watching sausage being made: it was something you’d rather avert your gaze from because the reality is just too unsettling to stomach.

from:

http://hsus.typepad.com/wayne/2011/11/supreme-court-downers.html

Ignorance and Fantasy

Are beliefs not often the children of ignorance and fantasy? Consider the heavenly view of the world that young souls entertain at the height of their innocence, when their youth has been surrounded by love and filled with happiness. Hear their laughter. Dreams expand in a vacuity of knowledge like a laughing gas and induce the blindest, the purest joy.

Ignorance is bliss, as they say, because it spares us the mental restraints associated with knowledge (which reveals the limits of reality and hence the impossibility of our fantasies). It is the ultimate playground where the mind can build castles in the air, create a wonderland, and live delightedly in this kingdom of reverie. It paves the way for the reign of error, as it leaves us to believe whatever we like. Everything that is desirable is realizable, if not real, until we find evidence to the contrary. Santa Claus eventually dies of our old age – when we are no longer so young, so green, that we are easily fooled by a tall story.

In truth, however wise we may be, we are still at risk. We spontaneously indulge in fantasies about the world here below, which is never totally known, or the beyond, which is unknowable. We are always tempted to believe that our health, our relationships, our career, or any other part of our life, will be wonderful, or that our death will not be an end, but a passage from here to a paradisal hereafter. This temptation is irresistible for many when they discover a charismatic fortuneteller or spiritual leader who professes this belief, which remains unproven nonetheless. Our believing is then the result of ignorance and fantasy, plus faith.

An example of self-deceit that concerns young idealists and betrays their warm-blooded aspiration for perfect love is the illusive passion they often experience toward attractive members of the opposite sex whom they little know. By perfect love I mean a complete and durable harmony at every level – physical, psychological, intellectual, and spiritual – between two lovers. It involves friendship to a high degree, as the words "girlfriend" and "boyfriend" suggest. While it includes lust, it transcends and transfigures it.

Pop songs are common vehicles for this ideal, which entices many young souls. I am thinking of young men in particular, who are usually quick to fantasize about pretty young women and fall madly in love with them, or rather with a fantastical image of them. This quickness is typical of their ardent and imprudent youth. It needs nothing more than a few smiles and nods, a few gracious words of agreement, to make these young men imagine they have found a soul mate, as they pour out their inner self – their sense of what is good, true, right, or sacred. A few auspicious signs and, voilà, they take the pretty young women for dream girls and are besotted with them! A few misleading signs, in fact. Every charm hides a cause for alarm.

If, in the struggle for survival and happiness, society is a cure for individual limitations (an imperfect cure to be sure, with side effects), it is also a pill hard to swallow. Civility is a smooth sugar coating that eases the swallowing. Give thanks to those who phrase their discontentment with delicacy and embellish it with a compliment and an encouragement. No nagging, no gagging. Sometimes civility excludes honesty and amounts to well-meaning or self-serving hypocrisy. It turns into servility through a mix of kindness and weakness, or through pure selfishness. One way or another, some people are fooled, kept in the dark, while they should live wisely, in the light of knowledge. They are denied truth: the opportunity to conceive of their true situation and achieve their true purpose
Young men, among the fantasizers I referred to earlier, are often lured by the social graces of pretty young women. The poor fish take the hook and eventually discover they have made a mistake, like many others in the same boat. The dream girls were ordinary maidens or vixens who first behaved and talked infinitely sweet, and later proved lovable in a limited way or revealed their sour temper.

A long intimacy is a good test of a couple's true nature. It always strips relationships of the silky appearance they sometimes have initially, when seduction overrides every other consideration. This appearance is superficial and deceptive like the outer layers of an onion. Once it is removed, after a succession of changes that marked a gradual return to naturalness, conflicts arise. The truth is uncovered; tears are shed.

Many young fantasizers part from their lovers at this point. They embark on another relationship until the next disillusion, the next dissolution, then embark on another relationship, and so forth. They do the same in other areas of life, starting this or that with high expectations and quitting upon the first difficulties, time and again. They never settle for less than perfection; they never build anything to speak of.

Some of these fantasizers stop this nonsense after a number of disappointments and finally change into brave realists. Their bravery distinguishes them from other disenchanted souls who give up hope to give in to laziness with a clear conscience. These defeatists confuse their attitude with realism and suffer nullity or mediocrity rather than fight for excellence, which is possible, unlike perfection. In their view, humans are in their element only when fantasizing, like fish when swimming. In fact, humans – who are adaptable – are closer to amphibians than to fish. They can come back to earth without dying of frustration, and even better, with a chance to live happily, thanks to a blend of struggle and resignation that yields joy and serenity.

Brave realists know and accept the conditions and limitations of happiness. They think it all the more precious as it has a high cost and is bound to be lost sooner or later. They also understand that although one may indulge in a fickle existence for a while, one must eventually commit and apply oneself to a particular relationship, study, or career, in spite of imperfections and difficulties, if one wishes to achieve something worthy of mention. Nothing good can come from a search for better that always leaves one thing for another.

Transitional Fossils

Transitional fossils, or the supposed lack thereof, has been used for many years by anti-evolutionists to argue against evolution. Here, I will explain what a transitional fossil is, and why it is not valid as an argument against evolution.

A transitional fossil shows the evolutionary development from one species to another. For example, if organism 1 existed 70 million years ago, and organism 2 shows up in the fossil record 5 million years later, then theoretically there should be intermediate species in this 5 million year gap, which shows gradual progression from one species to another. The lack of these "transitional" fossils is proof to young earth creationists that evolution is false.

Evolutionists have shown that indeed there are transitional fossils, and there are plenty of examples of them. For instance, see this article.1 Here is the key point...even if young earth creationists accept these examples of transitional fossils, they will still claim that there are no transitional fossils! These fossils will be called either unique species, or they will come up with some reason (disease, birth defect, etc) that accounts for the apparent transition feature.

Naturally, they will say, "Where are the transitional fossils between these transitional fossils?" If we had a clear fossil record, showing progression every 10,000 years for millions of years, they will not believe it, and will want the "transitional" fossils for the missing 10,000 year period. No amount of evidence will convict them that their belief is wrong.

The same thing could be said of progressive creationists as well. Progressive creationists believe in an old earth, but that God created each species a unique creation, and not evolved from an earlier species. I happen to be one of these myself. However, we must be careful not so say our view is the only one that is valid. Dr. Hugh Ross of the old earth ministry Reasons to Believe, has put forth many arguments against evolution. However, when you consider the possibility that within Theistic Evolution, you have God guiding the evolutionary process, then all bets are off. Yes, evolution by itself could not have happened...as Dr. Ross explains, 13.7 billion years is not nearly enough time, statistically speaking, for evolution to occur. However, with God's supernatural intervention and guidance, it could have easily happened.

I'm not saying that evolution is right, but what I am saying is that with God, all things are possible, including evolution. We should not be so quick, as progressive creationists, to condemn evolution.

Conclusion

The fact that young earth creationists will not be convinced, no matter how much evidence is presented, makes this a weak argument. The argument is not based on science, but on assumptions based on a young earth interpretation of creation.

Society First

A society or a human society is (1) a group of people related to each other through persistent relations. (2) A large social grouping that shares the same geographical territory, subject to the same political authority and dominant cultural expectations.

The term society came from the Latin word societas, which in turn was derived from the noun socius ("comrade, friend, ally"; adjectival form socialis) thus used to describe a bond or interaction among parties that are friendly, or at least civil. Human societies are characterized by patterns of relationships (social relations) between individuals sharing a distinctive culture and institutions; a given society may be described as the sum total of such relationships among its constituent members. Without an article, the term refers either to the entirety of humanity or a contextually specific subset of people. In social sciences, a society invariably entails social stratification and/or dominance hierarchy.

Used in the sense of an association, a society is a body of individuals outlined by the bounds of functional interdependence, possibly comprising characteristics such as national or cultural identity, social solidarity, language or hierarchical organization.
Like other groupings, a society allows its members to achieve needs or wishes they could not fulfill alone; the social fact can be identified, understood or specified within a circumstance that certain resources, objectives, requirements or results, are needed and utilized in an individual manner and for individual ends, although they can't be achieved, gotten or fulfilled in an individual manner as well, but, on the contrary, they can be gotten only in a collective, collaborative manner; namely, team work becomes the valid functional means, to individual ends which an individual would need to have but isn't able to get.

More broadly, a society is an economic, social or industrial infrastructure, made up of a varied collection of individuals. Members of a society may be from different ethnic groups. A society may be a particular ethnic group, such as the Saxons; a nation state, such as Bhutan; a broader cultural group, such as a Western society. The word society may also refer to an organized voluntary association of people for religious, benevolent, cultural, scientific, political, patriotic, or other purposes. A "society" may even, though more by means of metaphor, refer to a social organism such as an ant colony or any cooperative aggregate such as for example in some formulations of artificial intelligence.